I’ve been feeling strangely apathetic towards tumblr lately. It doesn’t offer me the same amusement it did previously, yet I still keep coming back. I scroll through my dashboard quickly to see all the pictures I’ve missed since I was last on just so I can get on with what I originally got on my laptop for. It’s part of my internet routine: check Facebook, Twitter, personal email, school email, my favorite blogs (not on tumblr) and then tumblr.
Maybe because it’s the last in a long chain of things I can check quickly I get impatient with it. I’ve been on tumblr for about 2.5 years now, quite a long time actually. So maybe I’ve simply grown out of it. I love seeing all the pictures on my dashboard, but there are really only a select few blogs that I truly enjoy looking at and interacting with. Maybe if I pared down the list of blogs I follow, tumblr could also be a quick thing I can check, while still offering me amusement and not feeling like a burden that I can’t shake off.
The thing about tumblr, though, that keeps me coming back, is that it is something that I can waste time on, if I wanna be lazy and/or relax for a bit before diving into homework or something productive. I’m from the generation that grew up first with AIM, then Myspace, then Facebook, then Twitter and now tumblr to waste hours online with. It’s so ingrained in my brain, my routine, to spend hours on the internet each day. I’ve been doing it for years on various social media sites. What else would I do with my time? Isn’t that kind of sad to think about? My generation was growing up when the internet first started and now we don’t know a life without it. We’re so attached to it in a way that we can’t even explain. What starts out as something that brings you joy eventually turns into a burden that you carry around, that impedes your studies and takes away from your social life.
I think maybe it’s time for me to step back from tumblr for a while. I’ve already been kind of doing that for a little while now. I don’t reblog as much anymore and I’ve lost interest in spending lots of time on tumblr. The blogs I follow are interesting, but it’s hard to keep up with so many. I prefer the more personal blogs that I follow outside of tumblr. They may not post as often, but what they post is so much more personal and intimate. I feel like I’ve gotten to know all the women behind those blogs so much better than a lot of the blogs I follow here on tumblr.
That’s not to stay I’ll be gone from tumblr forever, though. I’ll still be around, just following less blogs and spending less time on here. I did this once 2 years ago (so weird to think I’ve been on tumblr that long) and was quite happy with how I was spending my time outside of tumblr. I had more time to read, which I loved, so I’m definitely looking forward to that again. Someday, I’m sure, I’ll leave tumblr forever. I’ll keep my blog as a reminder of this time in my life though. But as for right now, it’s time to simply step back.